Surf Line 87

This is some Susan Boyle shit, right here. I suspect the ASP marketing guys have been watching enough reality television to finally understand what sells in 2009. The masses need heroes they can relate to. They need aspirational entertainment; ugly ducklings transformed into princesses. Enter the hunchback of Zarautz, Spain, whose unfortunate style translates extremely well when pig-dogging backside barrels. (The trouble comes for Aritz when he pumps down the line frontisde, somehow in the same pig-dog stance, like a crab running sideways.) But in left pits, Aritz proved his worth to a jaded surf world by sidelining Dane and Kelly. I just hope their mutual sponsor, Quiksilver, doesn’t begin the cuts by firing Aranburu for insubordination. Maybe Aritz should get plastic surgery and implants now, in a bid to extend his 15 minutes… And, for the record, I am now going to pretend I saw this coming. Yes, poor Aranburu has been mercilessly slandered in the Power Rankings - but in his very first write up, I recognized that his backside tube skills made him look like a “special” third Irons Brother, who had been chained up in the basement for twenty years.